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This is a tale that I didn't have the courage to consciously create, but wanted with all of my heart. I have taken workshops with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies since 1997, and I have graduated the Three Year Advanced Studies program, led by Sandra Ingerman. In May of 2002 I brought a beaded amulet bag to one of the three year sessions. To my amazement, I was encouraged by the group to start making the bags to sell to support myself. Sandra Ingerman was probably the most persuasive, offering to help me in the new endeavor. Before I left that session, I had orders for two bags, a bracelet, and I was given seed money. And I left with something else; I knew in my heart that this whole process was Spirit driven, and not of my doing.
As I beaded for other people, I began having life altering experiences. As I bead the piece begins to "talk", telling me a story. My first experience with this new form of communication was an amulet bag of a rose. The rose talked to me of love, and of expanding my heart, and as I beaded, I felt my heart expand. I began to feel different, so open and loving, and I treated people differently. I was kinder and gentler. I became softer. When the bag was done, and was sent on its way, I could still tap into those feelings. All I had to do was think about the bag. And then my experience with the bags deepened.
I beaded a snake. On the day I began designing the snake bracelet, my sinuses clogged up. I have not been sick in over three years (many thanks to the flower essences). As I progressed with the snake, my sinuses got worse. On top of that, I could not access either of my e-mail accounts. I continued trying e-mail, and then my computer died. By this time, I was feeling really lousy. My sinuses were really painful. Through the energy, I kept beading. Instead of the usual couple of days, the snake journey took me two weeks. The day I put the snake in the mail, my sinuses took a turn for the better, and the computer started working. I thought this was a little weird until I beaded the dragon. I didn't get sick with the dragon, but my e-mail again went out. At that point, I stayed away from the family computer, and focused my energy on completing the bag. I became aware that I was running a tremendous amount of energy. My body felt like I was plugged into a light socket. My feet and my hands tingled, and I had problems sitting still. And as the story of the dragon came out, I felt, within my body, the intensity of what the dragon represented.
What I now understand to happen is this: as I begin to bead, I merge with Spirit, and Spirit fills me with energy. As I bead, I am able to weave that energy into the bags. The bags are embodied with Spirit of the power they bring. Spirit enhances this with the pattern and the choice of bead colors. The repetitive motion of beading makes it possible for me to go into trance: I journey and I am told the story of the bag. In the process of pulling the energy through me, I receive a healing and I am changed. The energy also stays within the bag and is available to whoever has possession of it. I have begun writing the stories, and including them with the bags. Because not everyone is familiar with shamanic journeying, the stories are told by a dreamer, as in a sleeping dream - hence the name of the bags Dream Spirit bags, and the name of by business Dream Weavings. The whole process of the Dream Spirit bags amazes me, from the creation of the bags themselves to the stories they tell. I have been able to create the designs on the bags so much easier than I ever imagined. I know that Spirit is guiding my hand. I can feel the design take on a life of its own. And then the story comes. Everyone who has received a story (whether from a bag they commissioned or a bag I already had made up) has told me that it was the exact thing that was going on, or that they were working on. There is just no statistical way that I could have pegged it right on so many times, which is good to remind my ego. I know that what I am doing is Spirit driven: I am in instrument, and Spirit works through me.
This brings me back to my beginning statement about me living a life long dream. I have always wanted to stay at home; to spend more time with my family and to be able to create, and do whatever it is that I was put here on earth to do. In the past I was too afraid to ever try. I believe that Spirit heard my silent prayers, and helped me to fulfill my dream. Thank you for your support.
From my heart to yours ~ fondly,
Shilo Morning Star Satran
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